I was watching VH1 or MTV or one of those goofy channels that talks about famous people who are no longer relevant. They chronicle heartthrobs and child-stars and one hit wonders; I even think they spent a whole week on the little kid from Different Strokes. The one thing never talk about is the average Joe who used to make vinyl records. He's been out of work for a while. Or the guy who designed the original manhole cover. We've all seen the manhole and there is just that one design. What happened to the poor guy? Or hubcap designers. I've never heard anyone say "those are the nicest hubcaps I've ever seen" but someone had do go through a few different drawings to get the one that actually went on the car. Where did he go? Most cars today have aluminum wheels and I suppose there are a few still employed; I'd call them the best of the best. What about the guy who put in his hours and worked from nine to five for forty hours a week? Okay, maybe he didn't work late into the night coming up with a new design to blow the doors off the competition. Who knew that the hubcap business was so competitive? And he probably wasn't thinking of the possibility of increasing gas mileage with his design. When did hubcap aerodynamics become so important?
It's not like he had an advanced degree or anything. I mean engineers design alloys wheels and high school grads make hubcaps. Its not like he had a lot of options once the hubcap demand dried up. He wont be splitting atoms anytime soon. So, what does he do now?
Maybe he's working at Barnes and Noble ringing up my books or he could have been the guy who gave me change when I stopped at the toll bridge. Or the insurance adjuster who took the call from Darth Vader when the Death Star blew up. Poor Vader never saw he dream fully realized. The Death Star wasn't even finished yet. And Luke Skywalker pulled the trigger on that one. His own kid blew up the place. And my friend bitches when his two year old dumps cereal in the easy chair. Maybe Mr. Hubcap is testing easy chairs. What a job that would be. You arrive for work at 8am Monday morning and your boss says "go ahead, sit down and take a load off." With that job, I could simultaneously test remote controls, big screen televisions, potato chips and beer. That's five paychecks for doing what I do for free every Sunday afternoon anyway.
I don't think I would do it. If I were offered that job, I'd probably have to turn it down. It might sound like a cool job to be a porn star but sex after work would be a letdown. Retirement from being an armchair tester might be more work than when one was actually working. Who would actually want to start working at 65? And what did people do 100 years ago when the average American died at 47? Did people just die on the job? That would explain the productivity of some of my coworkers.... and the smell wafting my way when I'm downwind of them. Their scent is like the smell coming off the guy who looks like he has 10w40 in his hair every time he fills my car up at the local gas station.
He seemed nice enough when I stopped in last time and he even sgueegeed the windshield so I gave him a tip. And he remarked that my Clapco D29 hubcaps were some of the best ones ever made.
a decidedly myopic rehashing of the not so obvious... Seinfeld should have thought of it
