Anywho, Apple is moving away from Mountain Lion and to Mavericks which is a famous surf spot off the coast of California and is not so ironically named for someone's pooch. Apple has leaped, or is it leapt, from cats to dogs which is man's best friend which is odd because I've never had a best friend hump my leg and poop on my white carpet.
The new iPhone 5 or the 4c, now wait that’s the iced tea, or the 5c or maybe sticking with the iPad 3 theme which was called The New iPad but we've had two iterations since then so it's The Old Old New iPad and we don't want to go down that path with iPhones.
The new iPhone 5 or the 4c, now wait that’s the iced tea, or the 5c or maybe sticking with the iPad 3 theme which was called The New iPad but we've had two iterations since then so it's The Old Old New iPad and we don't want to go down that path with iPhones.
I'm not sure why it's still called the iPhone as I've had my 5 for almost a year and haven't made a single iPhone call. iTextwhiledriving: eh, okay. iFacebook: too obvious. iInterweb: works yet duplicity redundant for more than one reason.
The prognosticators and tech pundits are telling us what will be in the new iPhone, whatever Apple decides to call it, as if they know which they don't because Apple doesn't tell us anything. And those who say Apple can’t surprise us with a product were all left scratching their heads, and not just because of the lice, when we were introduced to the Mac Pro which visual equivalent to Darth Vader's waste paper basket.
Recently, I was in a Dunkin Donuts in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and I found the inspiration in, oddly enough, a Rubbermaid garbage can. I thought this was a coincidence until I realized there were four parking spaces presumably saved for Tim Cook, Jony Ive, Phil Schiller, and Bob "Hulk Smash" Mansfield.
Recently, I was in a Dunkin Donuts in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and I found the inspiration in, oddly enough, a Rubbermaid garbage can. I thought this was a coincidence until I realized there were four parking spaces presumably saved for Tim Cook, Jony Ive, Phil Schiller, and Bob "Hulk Smash" Mansfield.
So these pundits, or puts' for short, are telling us what we already know and doing it in a sensationalist way: KNOW THIS; the iPhone will have a better camera, a faster processor, and more features to leverage the soon to be released IOS 7.... thank you Captain Obvious. Know this, Honda will put more horsepower in the new Accord, Charlie Sheen will enough drugs to kill a mule yet somehow have a clean bill of health, and Samsung’s new 'original' devices will look quite similar to whatever Apple makes.
We all know enough about Apple and it's cycles to not get surprised too often; we know Jony Ive will appear in a video rather than onstage even though he’s sitting in the front row at the event; we know Tim Cook will politely and awkwardly sidestep issues he doesn't want to talk about; and we know Woz will put in his two cents even though he's done nothing productive at Apple since the Apple II.
There iPhone 5? is rumored to have a thumb print reader to decrease theft and the soft-spoken NYC Mayor Bloomberg believes this will not help to reduce Apple-picking but it will increase the number of thumbs stolen. And, as a result, they won’t be about to hold a soda larger than 16 ounces. And the truth is, we in the Cult of Apple want everyone to know that we have Apple devices. That’s why most iPhone cases have the cutoff for the Apple logo and Mac laptops have the light up logo on the cover. iPhones and iPods have the white headphones and the MacBook Pro, with it's proudly displayed lit up Apple, which was upside down on the original Macs, is the official laptop of Starbucks bloggers.
We know that Samsung will be taking notes because Samsung hasn't innovated anything since they put their own logo on an iPhone. So they'll be trying to out-innovate Apple by trying to guess which 100 things Apple might do, then they try all of the above in one device. I went into the Apple store recently to ask them about what will actually be in the iPhone 5S which we all know is coming, and they couldn’t tell me anything about it or even that the phone will exist. They knew less than the rumor mills who have Apple building an iCar with a Jony Ive body, a Scott Forestall drive chain, with Tim Cook making sure it's in stock.
The only thing we know for sure is that there will be an Apple event September 10th and that there will be, presumably, new insanely great products. And one more thing; I know whatever it is, I'll have to have it.
